Living with Grief After Losing a Child to Congenital Heart Defects
Grief never truly leaves us. It shifts, changes shape, and slowly becomes a part of who we are. After losing my son, Ollie, to congenital heart defects (CHD), I once felt completely consumed by pain. There were days when breathing itself felt like a task. Over time, though, grief became less of a wave that drowned me and more of a quiet companion I carry with me.
You Don’t “Get Over” Grief — You Learn to Carry It
What I’ve come to realize is that grief isn’t something you “get over.” Instead, you make peace with it—you learn to carry it in a way that allows life, love, and joy to grow alongside it. In the early days, I leaned heavily on the support of friends, family, and a community who remembered Ollie with me. Their words, their love, their presence helped lift me through the darkest moments.
When Grief Meets Purpose
Now, my grief feels different. It’s no longer at the center of every thought, no longer a weight pulling me under. I still ache for Ollie every day—I always will. But I’ve come to carry that ache like a gift, tied up in a beautiful bow, reminding me of the love we shared and the lessons he continues to teach me.
That shift has been powerful. Instead of focusing on what was lost, I find myself asking: What do I do with everything Ollie has given me? How do I put his lessons into action? His life—and even his absence—has inspired me to dream bigger, to pour love back into the world, and to help others find hope in their hardest seasons.
Turning Loss Into Legacy Through the Ollie Hinkle Heart Foundation
This journey isn’t about leaving grief behind. It’s about carrying it with grace. It’s about allowing it to shape us into people who love deeper, live with greater intention, and work to make the world better in honor of those we’ve lost.
For me, Ollie’s legacy is love. And carrying that love forward through the Ollie Hinkle Heart Foundation (OHHF) has been the most profound way of making peace with my grief—by supporting other heart families, by building resources for medically underserved families, and by ensuring that Ollie’s story continues to bring light, hope, and healing to the world.
💙 Explore OHHF’s mission or reach out for mentorship in launching your own mission-driven work: https://theohhf.org/about/



